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ClaudeV (Florida)
Posts: 86
Posted:
Hello all. I haven't posted on HOA Talk for a while and I'm saddened to have only this to post now.
I was the ARC Chairman of our BOD for the past 2 years. It is very difficult to get members in our small community to volunteer for HOA service on the BOD, we have 84 members in this small, manufactured home community.
I have always endeavored to be honest, fair and approach every issue as a representative of ALL members, not just a few. The old saying really is true: No good deed goes unpunished.

I finally resigned two weeks ago out of frustration and some angst. Since the ARC in our community is normally the one that is the "enforcer" of the CC&R's and generates the violation letters etc, the "rebels" in the community see it as "me" rather than the HOA. They make it personal. That's fine with me since I'm retired military and have a thick skin for that sort of thing. However, my wife is the sweetest person anyone would ever want to meet. A real "June Cleaver" type that likes everyone. But because I'm on the Board and the ARC, she feels that everyone "hates us", emphasis on the "us", which includes HER. I have watched her sit and cry over this perception of us throughout the community. (In reality it's only a half dozen people but they are our closest neighbors next door.)

After an incident a couple of weeks ago, I resigned. I was across the street talking with my neighbor whom was trimming a limb from his tree to make room for a basketball goal they had recently acquired. I just happened to notice that the house next door still had some old mylar balloons stuck in the limbs. These things have been there for 3 or 4 years! So I asked my neighbor if he'd use his pole trimmer to pull the "trash" out of that tree. He agreed and did. The lady that lives there is a single mom of a teenage boy. She has lived there for less than a year.
Well, when she gets home, she notices the trash isn't in the tree anymore and then sees it in the limb debris in her neighbor's yard. She goes to their house and is referred to me across the street. She knocks on my door and is all upset that I had the trash removed from her tree. It seems she knew it should come down but she wanted me to "ask her permission" before coming onto her property. The lot is very open and the tree is even with the house on the line between her and the next lot.
I asked her if she was "serious" about that, and she assured me that she was.
That was the last straw. I take time to do something nice for a neighbor and get it slapped back in my face. I wasn't there as a "BOD" member or the ARC Chairman, I was just doing a neighbor a random act of kindness favor. That frosted the cake for me.

I have come to the conclusion that this community doesn't appreciate me or the Board and as far as I'm concerned, they don't "deserve" my services. I un-volunteered and I probably won't run for the BOD again for a few years.

Why post this story? Simple: This is to illustrate to other people that always say they "like" their association but when it comes to DOING SOMETHING like volunteering to serve on the Board or a committee, they always find excuses not to take part. The end result is that the same folks always end up shouldering the load and being elected to the Board.
Of course, then some complain that the Board is always the same people and they don't like the way they do things, yadda..yadda..yadda...but they, themselves, never DO anything to help out. All they do is gripe and complain about others.

If ANY of you have issues with your HOA or the BOD, consider becoming involved. MAKE THE TIME!!! Other people make the time and your no better than they are. Your time is no more valuable than theirs. Try showing some involvement other than being the source of complaints. Anyone can see faults and problems, but it takes dedicated, caring people to find SOLUTIONS!
DonnaS (Tennessee)
Posts: 5,671
Posted:

Claude,
Let me be the first to say that A story like this makes me just sick and ready to put on my boxing gloves. People like you who are genuine, really great members of your community, have to put up with the rats and slackers who will never do anything good for the association and get even nuttier when someone else does some good.

It is sad to hear that you resigned but the stress that your wife deals with, well, is that worth it for her? No! Maybe if you take a short break, she might get a second wind and realize that the nasty one across the street was just plain nasty.

Members who really exert themselves for their HOAs never seem to be appreciated until they are gone. Do most people step up to do their part? Absolutely not. Every association is like this so don't feel like there is something that wasn't being done. We have posted here so many times that owner apathy is the number one problem in our HOAs. So maybe a break will renew your spirit and lets just hope that Mrs. Nasty gets out or at least a new attitude.
SusanW1 (Michigan)
Posts: 5,202
Posted:
Claude,
You probably would have done the SAME thing if you were not a member of the ARc, so don't lump the "job" with your "self" actions.

There's a saying about it being too hot in the kitchen . . . Don't think you are in the kitchen ALL the time.

Sorry you resigned. Growing a thicker skin and learning to detach would have been my suggestion to you.

BillG6 (Florida)
Posts: 41
Posted:
Sorry to hear what you went through Claude as well for your wife. You and I are similiar in that we put our hearts and souls into our communities to keep them pleasing for all residents, however, when you get no support from the entire BOD to back you up, shame on them. I also agree, when the hard workers step down or take a break, that's when you are missed and appreciated.
AnnaD2 (Florida)
Posts: 960
Posted:
Gosh Claude, I'm crying, bitching, pounding my fists and agonizing, all at the same time over your story!!!! How UNGRATEFUL can people BE??? We've ALL been there. People finding fault no matter WHAT we do!!!

I can also understand the feelings your wife has!!! It gets to the point where you think: It's just not worth it!

You, TOO, are also members of your community; board member or not. You were simply being "neighborly" and for a lot of people it's just not acceptable that their neighbors would do something; simply to be thoughtful or kind. Tell your wife those people will ALWAYS be out there....no matter WHAT your position in your community.

As far as "growing a thick skin"...I'm sure you're already done that. But you're putting your feelings of your wife ahead of what you feel you'd like to do....and well you should!!!!

This stuff can tear apart even the strongest unions. So, yes, take a break. I'm sure your wife simply wants to live stress-free; without the abuse she suffered because of you trying to be a good person.

So sad.
RW1 (Texas)
Posts: 149
Posted:

It sounds like you trespassed, or worse, you convinced a third party to trespass.

Had you damaged personal property or were injured, is it worth it?

Typically only the BOD can initiate enforcement/corrective actions. Did they approve this action?

Volunteer or for-hire notwithstanding, your act may be crimina. Balloons in a tree is at best a civil matter.

3-4 years for the violation to remain in place?

Why can't/didn't you seek permission first (years ago)?

You MAY very well be "Ward & June Cleaver" like OR...

MAYBE the sterotypical "condo commando", you MAY have a "reputation" for meddeling in which case I may have acted the same way towards you.

Expecting others to unilatterly appreciate what YOU do on/with THEIR property is foolish.

Based on what you've said, stripping away all the emotional "baggage", I think your actions were wrong.

KirkW1 (Texas)
Posts: 1,665
Posted:
I can understand your frustrations. What I don't understand is why no violation had been sent for balloons that had been up for that long.

To be honest, I find myself at a quandary over the whole violation issue. I remain convinced it is better to have a disinterested party doing inspections. But in this area property managers seem to be a major pain in the rumpus.
HeatherJ1 (South Carolina)
Posts: 89
Posted:
How sad that the neighbor was mad about you removing old balloons. That's just crazy. I can so relate to how many, many people complain but when it comes to being a part of the fix, they run and hide. I guess that's human nature.

I think that positions on the board (and committees) should rotate often so many people in the association get to see how much work it really is and then they would appreciate it more. I had NO idea until I was on the board.

I'm glad you are taking a much needed break. Best of luck to you and your wife!
JohnK3 (Pennsylvania)
Posts: 967
Posted:
Some folks just don't like others messing with their property, no matter how well-intentioned. On our lot we have (the only one in the subdivision) some tall pines that throw off pine cones perfect for making holiday decorations. A couple of our neighbors (used to) drop by this time of year and gather some up. Which would have been fine with me if they had simply knocked and to see if that was okay. One day I went out to get the mail, saw one, walked over and simply said "You could have asked, but help yourself." Her reaction? "Well, they're just SITTING there!" Then she dumped her basket and huffed off.

Go figger.

ClaudeV (Florida)
Posts: 86
Posted:
Thanks for the support folks....(well, most of you anyway..lol)

And NO, I'm not, nor was I ever, an "HOA Commando", I just did my job as I promised everyone that elected me that I would.

As far as the "trespass" goes, well it technically was However, had I picked up a piece of trash in her front yard that the wind blew there, it would be just as much a "technical" trespass as well.

I was discussing this one of the neighbors today and we concluded the same thing: When this community initially started it took about 4 years for all the lots to be sold and people to move in. Back in those first few years we all greeted our new neighbors at various "block parties" that were thrown several times a year. Usually we had a community Halloween Party, hay rides, games etc. The same on other Holidays like July 4th, Easter and a few others.
Over the past few years, our community has had several residents either die, relocate to assisted living or sold to be nearer family or other reasons. The "new crop" of residents that replaced them have never been to "chummy" about meeting the neighbors and slowly, but surely, the community is becoming "everyone is an island" kinda think. It's a crying shame too. We DO out reach to new residents and WE do try very hard to include them in activities but they just don't seem to want anything to do with anything...just live there and ignore everyone and everything else. Our once "close" community is fragmenting into pieces and there doesn't seem to be much anyone can do about it.

I have always viewed an HOA to be a "binding" entity, something that brought people with common interests and goals together. No HOA should become a "divisive" thing that keeps neighbors from being just plain old "good neighbors".
No one ever said anything about the stupid balloons before because it wasn't a huge deal. Taking them down was a random act of kindness for a fellow neighbor. She even admitted that they needed to be removed but she didn't have the means to do so. It wasn't about the balloons, it was the hissy fit attitude she put across. That's why I said, "No good deed goes unpunished."
But I didn't make this post to solicit sympathy or for any reason other than to demonstrate to other Board members that sometimes, just sometimes, enough is enough and perhaps the people that we Board VOLUNTEERS work so hard for will realize someday that our services may be "Free volunteer work", we do have to tolerate being taken "for granted" either. I feel that these people aren't deserving of my time and hard work since they obviously do not have any appreciation for it.

BTW: The BOD did, and does, support me, but the community at large doesn't support the BOD or any of it's members. It appears that their sole interest is to complain but never do anything to make it better.
I know that many of you on Boards are suffering from the same perception by your members. It is a thankless job and the chronic complainers should have to take a turn in the barrel to see what it's like.
SusanW1 (Michigan)
Posts: 5,202
Posted:
Claude - take OFF your board hat!!

Your actions had nothing to do with being a board member or not. YOU are reading too much into this and assume that she "attacked" or "objected" your actions just because of your role on the board. In reality, she just didn't want ANYONE touching her property.
MicheleD (Kentucky)
Posts: 4,491
Posted:
Claude, I hear you and understand that most of what you are doing right now is venting.

It's necessary. Either we open the release valve a time or two or implode.

I get the impression, too, that it wasn't really about the balloons or the "trespassing" with the neighbor.

Her response sounds very passive-aggressive to me. It's almost like the balloons were left there on purpose to test some boundaries or something, and when they were removed without any interaction with her, it sort of took the wind out of her mini-protest, or whatever it was.

From your posts, you don't strike me as a "community commando" either.

More like a lightening rod for criticism, which is common for someone in your role.

FrancescaM (Washington)
Posts: 264
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By ClaudeV on 11/24/2008 11:11 AM
Hello all. I haven't posted on HOA Talk for a while and I'm saddened to have only this to post now.
I was the ARC Chairman of our BOD for the past 2 years. It is very difficult to get members in our small community to volunteer for HOA service on the BOD, we have 84 members in this small, manufactured home community.
I have always endeavored to be honest, fair and approach every issue as a representative of ALL members, not just a few. The old saying really is true: No good deed goes unpunished.

I finally resigned two weeks ago out of frustration and some angst. Since the ARC in our community is normally the one that is the "enforcer" of the CC&R's and generates the violation letters etc, the "rebels" in the community see it as "me" rather than the HOA. They make it personal. That's fine with me since I'm retired military and have a thick skin for that sort of thing. However, my wife is the sweetest person anyone would ever want to meet. A real "June Cleaver" type that likes everyone. But because I'm on the Board and the ARC, she feels that everyone "hates us", emphasis on the "us", which includes HER. I have watched her sit and cry over this perception of us throughout the community. (In reality it's only a half dozen people but they are our closest neighbors next door.)

After an incident a couple of weeks ago, I resigned. I was across the street talking with my neighbor whom was trimming a limb from his tree to make room for a basketball goal they had recently acquired. I just happened to notice that the house next door still had some old mylar balloons stuck in the limbs. These things have been there for 3 or 4 years! So I asked my neighbor if he'd use his pole trimmer to pull the "trash" out of that tree. He agreed and did. The lady that lives there is a single mom of a teenage boy. She has lived there for less than a year.
Well, when she gets home, she notices the trash isn't in the tree anymore and then sees it in the limb debris in her neighbor's yard. She goes to their house and is referred to me across the street. She knocks on my door and is all upset that I had the trash removed from her tree. It seems she knew it should come down but she wanted me to "ask her permission" before coming onto her property. The lot is very open and the tree is even with the house on the line between her and the next lot.
I asked her if she was "serious" about that, and she assured me that she was.
That was the last straw. I take time to do something nice for a neighbor and get it slapped back in my face. I wasn't there as a "BOD" member or the ARC Chairman, I was just doing a neighbor a random act of kindness favor. That frosted the cake for me.

I have come to the conclusion that this community doesn't appreciate me or the Board and as far as I'm concerned, they don't "deserve" my services. I un-volunteered and I probably won't run for the BOD again for a few years.

Why post this story? Simple: This is to illustrate to other people that always say they "like" their association but when it comes to DOING SOMETHING like volunteering to serve on the Board or a committee, they always find excuses not to take part. The end result is that the same folks always end up shouldering the load and being elected to the Board.
Of course, then some complain that the Board is always the same people and they don't like the way they do things, yadda..yadda..yadda...but they, themselves, never DO anything to help out. All they do is gripe and complain about others.

If ANY of you have issues with your HOA or the BOD, consider becoming involved. MAKE THE TIME!!! Other people make the time and your no better than they are. Your time is no more valuable than theirs. Try showing some involvement other than being the source of complaints. Anyone can see faults and problems, but it takes dedicated, caring people to find SOLUTIONS!

Not every person is really meant to live in an HOA like community! I know this as I have been on our board since 2002. Many people don't think that rules apply to them, or worse like your story look for reasons to verbally attack a neighbor Most residents here in our HOA are extremely apathetic. If we had a fire I doubt the guy who has lived across from me would even knock on our door to make sure we were out.. not kidding. He comes, goes to work, hasn't uttered a word to me more than hello in the last 5 years I have lived 10 feet fromhis door. He actually came to only 1 freaking meeting in all these years.. because guess? He had a wasps nest outside his patio door and thought we should get rid of it.

NOt everyone understands the hard work that is given when we volunteer our time... People like this need their own free standing house. not in an hoa.
AnnaD2 (Florida)
Posts: 960
Posted:
I agree with you....CONDO living is not for everyone. People buy their units and think they bought a little "house" and just shoved it into the building to do whatever they please....not only inside; but outside as well...thinking they own that "square" of walls on the outside, too. Some people have NO IDEA of the concept of living within the laws of the association.

The more we try to educate them, the more defiant and defensive they become. It's always a battle and the "board" takes the brunt of trying to educate people like that.

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