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NicoleO4

Posts:0

07/24/2008 4:55 PM
I wanted to just say thank you to all on HOATALK. I know that it's hard to paint a picture of factual events on the computer and it's hard due to demographics and laws.... but for the record you guys give great advice.. and are very supportive to those who need it.

SallyL
(Colorado)

Posts:13

07/31/2008 1:39 PM
i second that statement

DonnaS
(Tennessee)

Posts:2948

07/31/2008 2:07 PM
I know that I speak for many of my fellow regular posters, that we learn every day and from every post that comes from so many of the new folks who come to this site for information. We try very hard to be open minded and give advice from our best experiences and knowledge. And we do disagree but that is what it is all about. Get as many points of view as possible, sort it out and hope for the best. Thanks to you Nicole and Sally.

NicoleO4

Posts:0

08/01/2008 4:11 AM
For the most part you all are great. Please consider this with an open mind when I say this. HOA"s often have universal issues, concerns, problems even. I thought this was sort of a safe haven to seek advice and direction when concerns or HOA questions have come around. I have read mutliple posts many having same content .. for example. How do we remove a board member? How do we keep out trespassers? How do we deal with a disruptive homeonwer at meetings.... ? I would never think that this was one person... They seem like universal issues... Just because many of the same posts are present universally means hat some HOA"s have the same pressing conernss. It would make sense due to for the most part the universalism of the biz... I have never seen a forum like this where I have had an individual post that I am a "incarnation" of one person, using multiple posts.. often the same issue and get this? I have a husband with a shopping cart issue. I am not here to make friends, but find good solid information or insight not to have an odd claim that I am an old poster with the same issues.. but to thave this tossed at me is nothing short of off kilter.. BIZARRE>

DonnaS
(Tennessee)

Posts:2948

08/01/2008 5:08 AM
Nicole, Just as in life, there are people that see their glass as half empty and others see it as half full. I stress many times that this is not a blog or message board where people come to get their ugliness out on someone else. There will be a few who feel that your problems can be easily solved by throwing a barb or two at you. The HOA TALK monitor is pretty good at watching that kind of behavior and some of us regulars also watch and try to make everyone be nice nice. But people are people and you just have to not respond to those who can't play it on an upbeat response.

MicheleD
(Kentucky)

Posts:1866

08/01/2008 7:13 AM
But you should also recognize constructive criticism when it's offered. Sometimes people get so deeply wrapped up in their own issues, their vision can get skewed. Much of what goes on in our own turf gets personal and we get emotional. (Meaning, the turf of our HOAs and our relationship with our neighbors.) Many of us have been posting here for a long time, and we've seen a broad range of posters, not all of them posting with sincere intentions, but quite obviously looking for "ammunition" to hurl as opposed to solutions to solve a legitimate problem. I was quite sincere, myself, in my previous post to you to encourage you to sit down and do some serious self-reflection and ask yourself if you are trying to correct a problem, right a wrong - - - or pursue a vendetta. The most likely observation, if you are honest with yourself, is probably a little bit of both. It's human nature. I do it myself sometimes, which is why it's so easy to recognize it in others before they recognize, or admit it, themselves. Sometimes you have to pick your battles. That doesn't mean you ignore or forget about the "small stuff," it just means focus on the larger issues that are more egregious. If you can take out that issue successfully, all the others will ultimately fall (or be taken care of) themselves. Don't let yourself get sidetracked worrying about draping flowers or cryptic comments. Don't make it personal. Just examine your own motives as well.

DonnaS
(Tennessee)

Posts:2948

08/01/2008 7:35 AM
Well said Michelle!

NicoleO4

Posts:0

08/01/2008 7:53 AM
Michele that is fine you are not the one I was really making comments about, the comments of having a vendetta and playing gotcha are pretty negative in conotation and YOUR OPINOIN. I myself obvious have different standards than the neighbor next door. But the issues I have with my won HOA are universal.. not to be singles out or accused to have a vendetta. Would you say that to the other 2 on our board who feels there are favoritism? Or do you think I am one with the lone vendetta? Would remarks or having a vendetta or playing gotcha be geared at someone named Irene C as I was being accused of being? Is's insane. I suggest to myself to ingore anything from this forum as you all think you know me so well. I have a disabled husband with shopping cart issues according to else frankly I really am shocked at the attempt to make me discredible. I can't help but thinka bout the credibility of answers from these sources?? rubbish.

MicheleD
(Kentucky)

Posts:1866

08/01/2008 8:21 AM
Posted By NicoleO4 on 08/01/2008 7:53 AM Michele that is fine you are not the one I was really making comments about, the comments of having a vendetta and playing gotcha are pretty negative in conotation and YOUR OPINOIN. Totally agree . . . however, it's an opinion based on a great deal of experience "reading" people and wasn't developed in a vacuum. But yes, it's still an opinion. However, I still stand behind that opinion. Posted By NicoleO4 on 08/01/2008 7:53 AM But the issues I have with my won HOA are universal.. not to be singles out or accused to have a vendetta. Would you say that to the other 2 on our board who feels there are favoritism? Or do you think I am one with the lone vendetta? I think it's very possible that the 3 of you are, as they say in the business, "smoking your own exhaust," and may well be distracting yourselves from potential bigger picture issues. Notice all my disclaimers, since, I can only take your interpretation on the "feelings" of the other 2 that there is favoritism because neither of the others have come to this site and presented their interpretation of the problems in your'all's HOA. So your question of me, regarding what I think about others from whom I've heard nothing, is sort of moot. Posted By NicoleO4 on 08/01/2008 7:53 AM Would remarks or having a vendetta or playing gotcha be geared at someone named Irene C as I was being accused of being? Is's insane. I suggest to myself to ingore anything from this forum as you all think you know me so well. I have a disabled husband with shopping cart issues according to else frankly I really am shocked at the attempt to make me discredible. I can't help but thinka bout the credibility of answers from these sources?? rubbish. I have to confess that I have only a vague memory of IreneC, but I can assure you, I have definitely called out my share bogus posters on this board in the past, and I make no apologies for it. She may well have been one of them. Believe it or not, there are quite a few of people who come here with less than ethical intentions. I have no hesitation calling out people who are wasting everyone's time simply trying to obtain some roadmap or whathaveyou to "nail" a board for having either sent them notices of violation or denied them some approval of some kind. Again, I have a strong sense that you do have some valid and sincere issues. But my comments to you were intended to be constructive in a way that would help you clear away some of the things that may make your attempts to find or execute a solution to those issues more difficult. I wish you all the best. Keep your eye on the prize.

DJ1
(Ontario)

Posts:460

08/01/2008 10:08 AM
Michele, even if someone did come here to "to obtain some roadmap or whathaveyou to "nail" a board for having either sent them notices of violation or denied them some approval of some kind." who would care? I just picture some HO going to their BOD and saying, see, this group of posters on this internet chat site agree with me that you BOD are smokin' your own exhaust. I'd be rolling over laughing if I was the BOD member told that by some HO. (sorry to steal the smokin' comment, it was quite funny).

MicheleD
(Kentucky)

Posts:1866

08/01/2008 11:54 AM
DJ, in the broader scope, I pretty much agree with you. I personally don't care what hobbled-together, random "support" they can bring back to their board and try to use! It does paint a pretty funny picture! If this were just a generic forum, where the general public could mosey on by and set up whatever entertainment they get off on, then, sure, what of it? But this site does have a purpose, that being, "A positive place for community association leaders to share ideas and learn." Those of us who have problems and issues have an expectation of receiving reasoned, thoughtful, perhaps even helpful advice and commentary. Those of us who post to assist others with problems do try to give some thought and effort into our replies. Every time we have to think about a new problem, or even an old problem that we have to look at from a different angle, we all have the potential to learn something. When we have posters who are just, to put it bluntly, "yanking chains," it does waste our time. I don't have a problem telling ones like that to hit the road. This isn't the place to collect stray bits of flotsum and jetsum to use against people, and it also isn't the place to engage in a heated debate about whether or not HOAs are an arm of the devil and need to be whacked off. This isn't a place where we should feel as if we have to either indict boards or homeowners about whom we hear only one side of the story or a place where we feel we have to defend the very idea of HOAs to someone who thinks we should all, basically, burn in - - - you get the idea.

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