💬 Join us to post & get advice from 50,000 HOA & Condo leaders.

Create Free Account →

⚡ Takes 30 seconds

Already a member? Log in

PauG (Maryland)
Posts: 53
Posted:
I need some advice. Last week we held our annual HOA meeting. Out of 125 homeowners only six showed up and five of the six board members. We had an agenda to follow and a lot of business to cover. The meeting opened an a board member,lit into me about changes the board wanted to make to a document. He had had his car towed and went on and on, asking who called and how he should be paid back. He had a neighbor with him that did the same, leaned over the table and got in my face. They shouted at me. Berated me, saying I had no right to change the document, which I had not. This board member had gotten the document a week before the meeting along with everyone else. All it was, was a reformatting the covenants to make them easier to read, and a few additions about trash. It was terrible. One board member got up and left. I finally got up and left. I was embarrassed and frightened. I'm a woman and these two men were verbally abusive and I did not know how far they were going to go. The president tried to calm them down, but they went on and on. No one asked them to leave. I was told later that nothing got accomplished at the meeting except to schedule the next one. It was shameful to have this kind of thing going on in front of homeowners.

Do any of your HOAs require that if someone wants to be on the board that a criminal background check is done first? Otherwise, how do you know if your not bringing someone on the board with a record, or someone with anger and assault issues?

Would you resign if you were verbally attacked in a meeting and it was not justified?

What advice do you have on handling this?
StevenW3 (Oklahoma)
Posts: 64
Posted:
First of all, if they used profane language in some states that can be ruled as disorderly conduct and you could file charges. Of course that might just bring about more of the same and if they are of the criminal type, unwanted retaliation.

Since most HOA positions are voluntary, it would probably not be contained in any Declaration, by-laws, or restrictions at least from those that I've read. There are web sites where for a small fee you can perform background checks on people. How reliable they are is anybody's guess.

Not sure what to say. I'd let things calm down a bit, hold another meeting and if the problem returns use Roberts Rules to call them out of order and move on. If they refuse, call the police and have them ejected and carry on with the meeting.

Low attendance at HOA meetings seems to be the norm from what I've seen. People move into these areas and then refuse or just don't want to get involved for whatever reason.

Good luck...
SusanW1 (Michigan)
Posts: 5,202
Posted:
Your president or another member should have motioned to adjourn the meeting when it got out of control. No board member should have to put up with verbal abuse. If the president could not get the meeting under control, then it needs to be adjourned and the entire board should have gotten up and left.
BrianB (California)
Posts: 2,820
Posted:
be as nice as possible to them. nothing takes the wind out of a jacks sail than niceness, and not getting attention. If you must say something, just say that while it is handy to learn a new word or two, you can't help but feel that they would never talk to their wives or mothers with that tone and language. You wonder what the important women in their lives would think of them showing this lack of respect to a woman.

Also, popping out a small tape recorder about that time works wonders too.
AnnaD2 (Florida)
Posts: 960
Posted:
Brian, it's been my experience that people like that speak to ALL women that way. They're adult school yard bullies.
BradP (Kansas)
Posts: 2,640
Posted:
Pau:

I am sorry that happened to you, IMO your board president should have stepped in, adjorned the meeting and asked this person to leave. If they refused to leave the local police should have been called to escort him out. No one deserves that.

I don't know that background checks are feasible, they do involve spending money and depending on how many candidates you have each year it could get pricey. It is something that certainly could be done, but IMO it wouldn't be worth it. Have safeguards in place to protect money...sometimes criminal records are not an indicator of someone with a bad temper or anger issue.

If the rest of the board does not come to your rescue I personally would consider stepping aside...once is an accident, twice is a trend. I would sit down as a board and discuss this incident and how it needs to be handled in the future.

LaverneB (Florida)
Posts: 129
Posted:
The meeting should ahve been closed right away.I would document what happened the time date, who was there. If this happens again, I would again end the meeting. You could also stop this person from coming to meetings until he apolgizes to all.I am the President of our HOA, and I am a woman, and do not back down to anyone!!You do not have to stand there and take it for a volunteer job. As far a sthe criminal back ground check, on who? Here in Fl. anyone can do it. Just hit in our county and all comes up about anyone. Good luck and don't give up. This is what this person wants!!!LaVerne Fl

🎯 You've read this entire discussion

Join the conversation with 50,000 HOA & Condo Leaders:

  • ✓ Ask follow-up questions
  • ✓ Share your experience
  • ✓ Get expert advice
  • ✓ Access 350,000 discussions
Create Free Account →

⚡ Takes 30 seconds

Already a member? Log in here