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Subject: Concerned
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Author Messages
TimB4
(Virginia)

Posts:16542


10/31/2019 9:08 PM  
Over the years since I joined this site, things have changed.

I simply don't understand why every thread (or at least a lot of threads) have to become an argument.
The big yellow banner says this is a "positive place."

When I joined, posts were aimed at assisting the OP with their issue.
Opinions, along with the basis for those opinions, were provided.
Constructive criticism was provided.
Sure, there were disagreements but they were handled without the name calling or put downs.
When a agreement couldn't be reached, people would simply agree to disagree and move on.

It simply doesn't seem that this is the norm anymore.

As others have done, I'm going to step away for awhile.
JamesS38
(Alabama)

Posts:11


10/31/2019 9:12 PM  
We all wish you well!
MelissaP1
(Alabama)

Posts:8711


10/31/2019 9:38 PM  
Sorry Tim you feel that way. Do agree with you and support your decision. I have started feeling the same. You can no longer post without someone jumping in making wide sweeping strong worded responses. That was never what this site was about. It was to give support, guidance, sounding board of ideas, and sharing solutions. Now if you post it is name calling without regard to listening to others opinion. If you can not articulate a response outside of name calling or insults then you are not forwarding the purpose of this site.

I can disagree or be wrong. What do not need is lack of educated debate to forward the conversation. We are hers to learn and teach those who need it. No one learns by tearing each other down. Good luck and visit.

Former HOA President
MarkW18
(Florida)

Posts:196


10/31/2019 10:00 PM  
Haven't you been watching? That's how things are done since 2015. And it seems to be the acceptable thing to do.
MelissaP1
(Alabama)

Posts:8711


11/01/2019 4:12 AM  
Mark it's those type of statements that prove exactly what TimB is saying. Let it go and have a conversation. Nothing positive comes from those who don't contribute positivity.

See how this post again is becoming an "argument"? Just wish Tim well and hope he comes back again. He is one of the best here and deserves that kind of respect. I know he has it from me.

Former HOA President
DouglasK1
(Florida)

Posts:1466


11/01/2019 7:59 AM  
I'm active on several other larger forums, and they are actively moderated. Sadly, that's what it takes these days to maintain a "positive place" online. I agree with Tim that some posters seem to be trying to emulate the behavior you see in political forums, which is not a good thing.

I've been considering stepping away myself. We are losing a major voice of reason on this board, things will probably only get worse, so I might follow.

Escaped former treasurer and director of a self managed association.
JohnT38
(South Carolina)

Posts:122


11/01/2019 8:33 AM  
Tim,

I joined my Board a year and half ago. Because of circumstances beyond my control I was elevated to president 4 months ago. Because I'm a newbie and have a lot to learn I monitor this forum constantly regardless of the topic. I also pay close attention to any post that you and a couple of other members post. What I have learned during my short time on the board is that wisdom and analytical thinking are paramount to being successful. You have that and you need to know that there are people like me that are learning a great deal and our communities are benefiting from the knowledge that you pass on to us. I'm telling you this because I don't want to see a few inconsiderate and rude people ruin it for the rest of us. I doubt I'll succeed but I'm hoping you'll reconsider once you take time to understand that your efforts are impacting individuals and communities. Whatever you decide I will certainly understand.
MarkM19
(Texas)

Posts:448


11/01/2019 9:23 AM  
Tim,
I am with the last poster. I enjoy reading the post from the long standing members most. Like in life the older you are the wiser in many cases (Not All). The problem is if you and others leave this site it could be ruined by the people that force others out.

Think of your HOA. If all of the Good people quite going to the Pool because of a few bad apples guess who takes control? The people that stay. Please think of the rest of us and don't let the bad take over.

I also have noticed that many first time posters find this site from search engines and come here for validation of the complaint they have with their HOA and if they don't get confirmation they become angry with the people giving them our opinions.
JohnC46
(South Carolina)

Posts:8827


11/01/2019 10:00 AM  
Tim

Do not allow yourself to be bullied. Please hang in there (here).
JamesS38
(Alabama)

Posts:11


11/01/2019 10:17 AM  
How has Tim been bullied?

If a particular wants to offer help, then they need to tell everyone that the information is based solely on their experience in the one HOA they may have volunteered in. This particular person has never done research about how things are done in other states and how things operate under a MC.

When there is inaccurate information offered time after time then the person needs to be called on it. If the person doesn't want to do the research for rules outside their states, don't comment, or if you do, they will be corrected.

The topic that was being discussed was about Welcome Packages. If I am the president of the association where someone wants to move in, I am going to do everything in my power they are properly informed, not find out bad news later. There are low cost ways to accomplish this. But the answer can't be to push everything on the buyer and good luck. There are ways to get the proper documents at no cost to the HOA.

I could carry on, but it will just fall on deaf ears.
JohnC46
(South Carolina)

Posts:8827


11/01/2019 10:23 AM  
James

There are several bullies out here.
JohnC46
(South Carolina)

Posts:8827


11/01/2019 10:23 AM  
James

There are several bullies out here.
MarkW18
(Florida)

Posts:196


11/01/2019 10:35 AM  
They is a difference in being bullied and being a bully. Calling someone on what they post is NOT being a bully. Calling someone out with nothing to substantiate your claim might be considered bullying.

Tim is THE most respected person on this site, bar none, but I have never seen any instance where someone has turned against him, ever. If he could bottle his calmness and market it, he could make a fortune.
MelissaP1
(Alabama)

Posts:8711


11/01/2019 2:37 PM  
So from now on when I post I will list ALL 50 states, their laws, the HOA's rules, the corporate laws, and any other bits of information I am so "ignorant" on to make 1 person happy.

Dude you are one of the reasons we can't post anything on here. This is OUR OPINIONS! We are NOT lawyers, professionals, and don't represent ourselves to be such. Again I post from EXPERIENCE and some educational background I have. You do you and leave the rest alone if you don't like it.

This is OPINION based site. That is it. Don't like the FREE advice then don't insult it and call people names over it. Give your opinion and move on. Simple as that.

Former HOA President
GeorgeS21
(Florida)

Posts:1373


11/01/2019 5:17 PM  
I think, in general, anyone glancing at this thread would immediately see the language as aggressive, with a pretty objectionable tone.

This is a place to help Boards of HOA/POA/COAs effectively do their jobs.

Please be considerate ... folks can disagree without being mean and angry.
NpS
(Pennsylvania)

Posts:3865


11/02/2019 1:15 PM  
Enjoy a well deserved vacation Tim.
You set the standard for many here.
Some of my most interesting exchanges were with you.
As always, you have my respect.
Come back refreshed when yo are ready.

Sikubali jukumu. Read all posts at your own risk.
JohnM63
(North Carolina)

Posts:12


11/04/2019 11:05 AM  
Don't give up because of a few negative posters. We need your wisdom here!
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