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TimB4
(Virginia)

Posts:3801

01/08/2012 8:37 PM
I see that I failed to finish my thought before posting: Posted By TimB4 on 01/08/2012 8:17 PM To my knowledge, everyone here only knows each other through their postings. What isn't known about someone tends to be filled in by expectations based on experiences and, perhaps, people we associate with. As an example, based on your postings, you remind me of an individual in my Association. What I don't know about you may typically be filled in by an expectation on how that individual would react (because you remind me of them). to continue on that thought: Unfortunately, if I have an unfavorable opinion of the individual you remind me of, I might have a bias to anything you say. Right or wrong, this is human nature and it takes time to expand beyond that expectation and base the reactions and relationships on the individual and not the expectation.

MelissaP1
(Alabama)

Posts:2207

01/08/2012 9:43 PM
Thanks Tim. Wondered why my old post from like 5 years ago showed back up...LOL. Brought back some memories for me. I also know people similar to this and it's nothing new...To each their own pedastool I say...! LOL...

Former HOA President

AnneT

Posts:0

01/09/2012 12:14 AM
Posted By TimB4 on 01/08/2012 8:17 PM Anne, As you know people act/react to situations based on their experiences, training, etc. To my knowledge, everyone here only knows each other through their postings. What isn't known about someone tends to be filled in by expectations based on experiences and, perhaps, people we associate with. As an example, based on your postings, you remind me of an individual in my Association. What I don't know about you may typically be filled in by an expectation on how that individual would react (because you remind me of them). I know, well I would like to think, that I have changed my behavior based on gaining experiences, additional knowledge, etc. This thread is from 2007. I suspect many posters have changed since then. As the big yellow banner at the top of the site says, this is to be a positive place for people to exchange ideas. Since we are human, there are many times posters on this forum have disagreed with each other. Fortunately, for the most part, they just agree to disagree. All advice is offered freely and, as with any advice, may be taken in whole, in part or simply discarded. Tim No THEY haven't changed. I came looking to try to find a clue for the animosity emanating from this individual. I found it. That person treats everyone that way. I was attacked and ridiculed so if you want to talk about judging someone I was judged and very unfairly. I get your message that I remind you of someone at work. Since you didn't say anything about that person I figure it is probably negative. The way it is with me is that for too long I was intimidated by people and would become invisible because I thought I had no right to an opinion. That was yesterday. When someone sets out to harrass, ridicule and intimidate me I call it what it is. You don't have to do anything about it. I used to wait for someone to rescue me even when I was a child. No one ever did. At this stage of my life I realize the only person who is going to rescue me is me. I left my note here for future victims of this person. I guess I am not PC enough for most people. I don't pretend that skunk smells like a rose and I don't pretend like a snake is a cat. It is what it is.

AnneT

Posts:0

01/09/2012 12:20 AM
Posted By MelissaP1 on 01/08/2012 9:43 PM Thanks Tim. Wondered why my old post from like 5 years ago showed back up...LOL. Brought back some memories for me. I also know people similar to this and it's nothing new...To each their own pedastool I say...! LOL... I've met people like you before. Not my imagination because I looked at more than a few of your previous posts and your behavior is the same in every one of them. Here's what you wrote to me right out of the starting gate when I had explained exactly how I knew that it was our money being donated and not the people in the HOA. You're a hypocrite. You tell people to speak up when they see something isn't right and then when they do your pit viper personality comes out. This is what you wrote to me and you had no reason to be such a bitch. A bitch is a bitch and you are one. You say you don't see the full story maybe that's because you can't read anything other than your own drivel. FROM MELISSA THE SNIPER: What do you think a HOA is supposed to do? There's reality and fantasy. HOA's aren't run by "Proffessionals". They are run by people who just have a vested interest in keeping their home values up. The President could be the "avon lady" or a Real Estate agent. There's no hard rules on who is on the board nor who are the members of the HOA. Just have to be an homeowner. I don't see the full story coming out here. Since you don't attend meetings, how do you know it's your dues being used? How do you know this isn't a charity the homeowners donate to every year on their own? I don't see proof your dues are being used to supply the charity. A HOA is ONLY funded by it's members for it's members. It works like a "poker kitty". Everyone pitches in but the person with the best hand/squeeky wheel wins the pot...There's just no way to please everyone with the money the HOA has in it's budget. Someone is going to complain about something. Why do we spend money on new mailboxes but not on a lightbulb that burnt out at the entrance? Etc... Until you make the effort to get involved and educated, expect what you get. I don't believe anyone has a say in their HOA if they don't have a solution and work toward getting there. Everyone has problems and issues, they just don't make the effort to make the fixes or solutions..... The power is yours, if you don't use it, then keep making up excuses...

AnneT

Posts:0

01/09/2012 12:28 AM
We could have left it to be as it was. I was satisfied however Tim and Melissa (or Melissa if Tim is another of her alter egos) can't tolerate my not pretending to recognize a bitch for a bitch. I wrote and explained very clearly how I felt our funds were misused and I explained why and how and where I came up with that knowledge. MISS BITCH just can't hold her tongue so she accuses me of Fantasy thinking. I not the narcissitic psycho here - Melissa is. I despise people like you because you like to play games with people. You pretend with your smiley faces to be "nice" the whole time you are actually attacking people. I'm not worried - I know that there are many other people who have been harrassed and stalked by Miss Melissa and I have no doubt that others will bbe in the future. If you don't like me warning people not to pay Miss Bitch any mind - that's your problem. Would you like me to cut and paste all the nasty things you've said to everyone Melissa? That way I can save them the trouble of going from page to page and they can get the total picture all in one. You haven't changed as evidenced by the fact that on the question I wrote everyone was very courteous and helpful except for YOU. You're a narcissistic psychotic bitch. If you belong on a stool it would be in the outhouse where the stench of you would fit right in.

TimB4
(Virginia)

Posts:3801

01/09/2012 12:36 AM
Anne, I was not implying that I had a positive or negative impression of you. I was just trying to give an example of how someone might have certain expectations based on their experiences.

AnneT

Posts:0

01/09/2012 12:42 AM
Posted By AnneT on 01/09/2012 12:20 AM Posted By MelissaP1 on 01/08/2012 9:43 PM Thanks Tim. Wondered why my old post from like 5 years ago showed back up...LOL. Brought back some memories for me. I also know people similar to this and it's nothing new...To each their own pedastool I say...! LOL... FROM MELISSA THE SNIPER: What do you think a HOA is supposed to do? There's reality and fantasy. HOA's aren't run by "Proffessionals". They are run by people who just have a vested interest in keeping their home values up. The President could be the "avon lady" or a Real Estate agent. There's no hard rules on who is on the board nor who are the members of the HOA. Just have to be an homeowner. I don't see the full story coming out here. Since you don't attend meetings, how do you know it's your dues being used? How do you know this isn't a charity the homeowners donate to every year on their own? I don't see proof your dues are being used to supply the charity. A HOA is ONLY funded by it's members for it's members. It works like a "poker kitty". Everyone pitches in but the person with the best hand/squeeky wheel wins the pot...There's just no way to please everyone with the money the HOA has in it's budget. Someone is going to complain about something. Why do we spend money on new mailboxes but not on a lightbulb that burnt out at the entrance? Etc... Until you make the effort to get involved and educated, expect what you get. I don't believe anyone has a say in their HOA if they don't have a solution and work toward getting there. Everyone has problems and issues, they just don't make the effort to make the fixes or solutions..... The power is yours, if you don't use it, then keep making up excuses... To answer your question Miss Bitch - What I expect an HOA to do with the money collected from homeowners? I'll tell you what I DON'T expect them to do with them and that is donate the money to some alleged probably non-existent homeless people whom I have never met. I expect them to use them for the purposes they are collected. My HOA is not registered as a charitable organization. Upon pressure from more than a few members they finally published in the HOA blog in the local south KC newspaper what they did with the money they collected. THAT'S how I know STUPID BITCH - if you weren't always looking for something to hassle people about you would have found the answers. INSTEAD the first words out of your BITCH mouth were rude and stupid and derogatory so you can take your SUPERIOR B.S. and shove it. I'll let you figure out where. I do that too, Tim, I see the one someone conducts themselves and just like with what you did me, I now have a good idea how you operate. And I don't like you any better than you or Melissa like me. I can live with that. What I can't live with is playing games like the BITCH / Pit Viper here likes to play. If you look like a bitch, act like a bitch, sound like a bitch and probably smell like a bitch - You're a BITCH. Everyone else here was being very subtle in their reactions to your bullshit. I'm not into subtle. And I'm also not into people who form alliances to attack one person. This was between the BITCH and me but now TIM has decided to join the conversation. Don't expect any PC bullshit from me, I haven't got the time or the patience to play your stupid games, either of you.

TimB4
(Virginia)

Posts:3801

01/09/2012 1:04 AM
Anne, I've done nothing but try to assist you. I hope that the advice I offered was useful. As with any advice your free to use all of it, some of it or none of it. I hold no animosity toward you and I'm not sure why you hold any against me. I wish I did, as it might help me better express myself so not to create that animosity. Either way, it is certainly your prerogative to have such an opinion and your right to express it. To keep things civil, I guess we will have to agree to disagree. In my opinion, your postings in this thread are inappropriate and are in violation of the posting rules established by the owners of this site. Therefore, I have reported them to the moderator.

AnneT

Posts:0

01/09/2012 1:15 AM
Posted By TimB4 on 01/09/2012 1:04 AM Anne, I've done nothing but try to assist you. I hope that the advice I offered was useful. As with any advice your free to use all of it, some of it or none of it. I hold no animosity toward you and I'm not sure why you hold any against me. I wish I did, as it might help me better express myself so not to create that animosity. Either way, it is certainly your prerogative to have such an opinion and your right to express it. To keep things civil, I guess we will have to agree to disagree. In my opinion, your postings in this thread are inappropriate and are in violation of the posting rules established by the owners of this site. Therefore, I have reported them to the moderator. If they are in violation of whatever - am I supposed to be afraid? YOU attacked me clearly and Melissa thanked you for coming to her aid so like I said, I am not PC-oriented. Have me banned - I don't care - clearly this is a club for social misfits and psychotic tramps with visions of grandeur who like to gossip and snipe about who did what to whom. Both of you attacked me, yours was a bit more subtle. So don't put this on me. But please do whatever you want call whoever you want I DON'T CARE because I won't be back I don't need the kind of bullshit that goes on here. You and the BITCH can hangout all you like but NOT ME.

AnneT

Posts:0

01/09/2012 1:19 AM
All you've done is try to help me? Yes, in the beginning you did. Then you decided to step in and help MELISSA the pit-viper and join forces against me so please, I'm not stupid. Be honest and tell the truth. Don't play games. Anyway, I have all the information I need and more than enough evidence that this is no place I care to be. To anyone else who finds this conversation - do a search like I did and you'll get the scoop on MELISSA right away. She USED TO BE PRESIDENT and she gives all sorts of hateful advice because she's entitled to after all SHE USED TO BE PRESIDENT. Now she's stalking the new president and harrassing her neighbors. good for her. YOU two deserve each other.

MelissaP1
(Alabama)

Posts:2207

01/09/2012 4:33 AM
Tim I will share a meal of crow with you anytime... Advice is free, it's up to you to take it or not. Advice never said it was kind, accurate, or for you. It's just free...

Former HOA President

GlenL
(Ohio)

Posts:3621

01/09/2012 5:43 AM
Anne, I personally have a problem with some of the "advice" Melissa dispenses and have called her on it but she is not the one who devolved the thread into unwarranted name calling - YOU DID.

Your board meeting is not held in the Situation Room of the White House. It's not life or death. Let people in, keep it positive, then go home and get a good night's sleep. If you hold off drinking until after the meeting, instead of before or during, you're probably doing OK. JosephW

BruceF1
(Connecticut)

Posts:1510

01/09/2012 6:14 AM
Glen, Your post may have fallen on deaf ears. I noticed Anne's post count has dropped to zero which probably indicates she has cancelled her forum registration.

BradP
(Kansas)

Posts:2491

01/09/2012 11:03 AM
If nothing else this is a good wakeup call for all of us to put ourselves in the poster's shoes. A lot of times they are very inexperienced or no experience and look to us for help. Heck I am still very inexperienced at all of this. Sometimes while well intentioned, unnecessary commentary can be construed negatively by others.

MelissaP1
(Alabama)

Posts:2207

01/09/2012 2:44 PM
That's a good view to take BradP. However, posters similar to AnneT aren't unusual to deal with. The littlest thing can set them off and drag you down with them. My original post that set her off wasn't that bad. I only posted one thing before she took personally. There are people you can help and there are people you can help be victims...This was someone who wanted help being a better victim than getting help to solve their issues. I know I am not perfect nor is my advice all that great...It's free and it comes from experience. You can take it or you can leave it. I just hope it makes you think of another angle that may help you in the end.

Former HOA President

JeanneK3
(Maryland)

Posts:362

01/14/2012 1:59 PM
Although I haven't read the above thoroughly, I did note that it seemed to be assumed that just because it is in bylaws that the association can enter property and repair something and bill the homeowner doesn't mean you can do it without a court order. State and county laws that prohibit trespassing on someone's property would trump anything in association documents. The reason is that the documents are contracts, not laws, and only a court of law can determine if a violation is really a violation that would allow one to bypass trespassing laws. Got the above from the Howard County Police who said if called by an owner because a contractor was on their property illegally, they would come and force the contractor to leave. Jeanne

BradP
(Kansas)

Posts:2491

01/14/2012 2:43 PM
Jeanne: great point and as a personal safety note I would never enter someone's property to repair something without some police protection unless you like to look down the barrel of a gun. Too risky.

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