Belligerent board member

I am board member, and I have been receiving harassing emails from another board member. In them, he uses derogatory and belittling name-calling and vague threats, such as telling me to back off (for no apparent reason, in response to what I thought was a civil conversation in which I answered his question appropriately) or he would become my worst enemy. Other board members are copied on these emails, and sometimes the management company and attorney are also copied, but not always. I feel his behavior, or his words and implied behavior, since it is email, is inappropriate and constitutes harassment.

I guess my question is... How would other BODs handle this? We don't have a code of conduct for directors. The attorney has had frustratingly little advice on the issue. I hesitate to ask him to resign or try to remove him, because his personality is very volatile.

My main concern is that his term is up in a few months, and he may decide to run again. Since we have very low community participation, the chances of someone running against him, when there will also be 2 other positions open, are pretty slim. If it comes to that, would it be out of line for me to speak out against him to the community? Can I share his "behavior" with other members in order to demonstrate that he is unfit for the position? Most of it is documented in emails.

Thanks for any insight or experience with this uncomfortable situation.

What are my cards, though? Am I just asking for support, or can I request action be taken against him?

Amanda, I really sympathize with you as I (the president) had the same experience for several months earlier this year. The director, though, only sent the hostile emails to me. Finally, however, he sent one to the whole board that was very insulting and included lies that could easily be disproven. I had the matter placed on the Executive Session agenda and included all of his emails in our directors packet for that month.

At Ex. Sess., I asked directors to (1) instruct him to immediately halt such emails; (2) to copy the rest of the board on emails he sent to me. The board agreed with me that such behavior opposes the teamwork that's necessary to perform our duties. They also agreed that I shouldn't have to put up with such hostility. About 6 weeks later, he resigned.

So, you need the rest of the board to support you and tell him to cease and desist. Do you feel that your fellow directors won't support such a request? If so, why not? What is the general gist of the hostile director's remarks?

Amanda,

I've been in your shoes in 2010 with a board member who used emails to harass me, though as president, I took it for a while until I sized up the situation.

To my belligerent board member, I:

1. Wrote a reply email saying I'll not respond to any future emails nor read this person's emails, even if legitimate business. The person can deal w/ the property manager or be ignored (if a PM isn't part of your HOA operation). I didn't read this person's email for several months.

2. I used my email filters to literally blacklist the person so I could not receive what I considered to be hostile emails.

You know what? My mental approach to HOA volunteerism turned positive and I realized that I could work very well with every other board member. Over the subsequent months, my lack of any reaction ended the hostility.

Many HOA boards simply can't kick off a board member as they're elected. They can be successfully marginalized, however, and that can be really effective. Don't forget this is an HOA and you're a volunteer. You can "face up" a colleague as easily as this person can intimidate you. Remember, you're reacting to the passive-aggressiveness of an email bully.

You deserve your board's full support but don't engage the board member who's aggressive unless you're facing swing votes on matters.

....my 2 cents.

Yes you do have some supporting rules of conduct and decorum - for all meetings be they members or board meetings. Roberts Rules (RONR) sets out clear support for proper procedure and behavior and even if your CCRs haven't adopted RONR your Board President should be enforcing polite communication between directors, as should any assembly enforce polite communication between members at meetings.....

Is this behavior directed only towards you?

His behavior is toward me (the President), the management company, and the association attorney.

Just what is the topic or area this Board member has problems with?

He feels that the management company and the association attorney are "in bed" together and aren't working in the best interest of the community and that the board of directors is letting them run things.

Just what did you do to incite them?

I disagreed with him. I told him I was more than willing to hear his concerns, but his accusations remain broad and vague and he does not cite any concrete evidence for these wild accusations. Lacking any real direction to pursue, I've become dismissive and asked him, and told him, to communicate respectfully and focus on his duties.

How long have you served?

Almost 4 years.

How long has this other member served?

A few months. He was a member that was making a lot of noise due to a violation he disagreed with, and another director decided to invite him to put himself up for consideration for an open position on the board when another director resigned.

Is the rest of the Board afraid of this member?

Not afraid, just tired of him. Another director has since resigned.

Just what is the response by the other members of your Board?

We have 2 others: 1 tries to stay out of it but has asked him to stop. The other totally ignores it (she happens to be the one that "invited" him onto the board. There are only the 4 of us with an open position at the moment.

Amanda:

As we have just your version of what has happened I will assume those facts are true.

First thing I would do would be to slap hard in the back of the head the other Board member who thought it was a good idea to bring this person on the Board. Many people hold the false beleif that this sort of invitation to a PIA will somehow change their behavior. IMO nonsense and living in LaLa land. However even with that suggestion it was up to the other members of the Board including yourself to go along with this. Was there a vote? Who supported this action?

What was the nature of the violation he was charged with?

As to his behavior. From what you describe you are dealing with a bully who more than likely has little regard for you as President and let me go out on a limb you as a woman.

Forgetting for a moment where this happened would you accept this sort of behavior at work? I would hope your answer would be no.

Making threats, using e-maile to transmit those treats might constitute a violation of the law. Either you send him a clear message this won't fly or IMO things will get worse.

If this continues I would file a complaint with the local police and speak to them as far as what they might be able to do for you. Including an oirder of protection preventing contact.

Now as to the upcoming election. Were you elected? Do you have support among the owners? If so I would begin my campaign to have him removed from the Board. I would find someone to fill the vacancy, not someone who might side with this moron but rather someone who has a rational mind and productive nature.

I would provide copies of those e-mails to support your effrots to have him removed. The suggestion you resign would play right into his hand and more than likely he would be in charge of your property with the likes of the other members you now have.

Good luck.

Was it ethical for him to send them in the first place? The answer to your question is while there might be an assumption of privacy on the senders part there is no guarantee of privacy and communications addressed to you are yours to disseminate as you see fit. Depending on the tone of the emails, you could also file a complaint with his email provider, more than likely he is violating their Terms of Service.

Amanda,

What is it you are hoping to gain by releasing his e-mails to non-board members?

Ethics is defined as pertaining to or dealing with morals or the principles of morality; pertaining to right and wrong in conduct. (dictionary.com)
You have to decide for yourself what is the right thing to do. However, I would advise that you ask yourself one simple question:

1) Will it help the issue or make it worse?

I would consider emails between the home owner and Amanda as being "business" in nature since the other person is certainly communicating with a member of his HOA board. Therefore, I'm not sure I adhere to the emails being "private." Decorum suggests keeping them quiet but Amanda isn't enjoying decorum.

BUT, Glen has it right. Block the email address and refuse to acknowledge any further communication until decorum and etiquette is respected. Just because you're an HOA director doesn't mean you must accept continual, passive-aggressive abuse via email. There is NO right of a property owner to expect an HOA director to absorb such. Otherwise, one can argue that HOA board drama may be lingering on purpose. Drama is addictive.

Amanda. Iwould review resignation as a last resort -actually not a resort. This person obviously views you as a threat. Show him just what a threat you can be when you really get going. Get the rest of the board to see what sort of a person you are having to deal with.