Merging of two HOA communities?

My wife and I purchased a new home in a wonderful community that is located above another larger HOA community (we must drive thru the other community to get to ours). Our community is 87 homes and the larger community below is 2200 homes. Each community was built by separate builders and approximately 15 yrs apart in age. From what I am hearing is the larger community had a dispute with the buider of our community and will not allow or even consider the merging of the two HOA's due to this dispute. The larger community has many ammenities, such as 2 pools, tennis courts, gym, parks, community events, etc that we have been banned from. Access to these common areas are heavily monitored and policed by HOA members of the larger community and hired security. I do understand that since we are not part of or pay the due for these ammenities that we do not have the right to use the facilities. My suggestion or solution to this issue would be to merge the two community and provide a benefit to the smaller community of the ammenities. Naturally we would bring more revenue to the larger community with our monthly dues. I am getting a lot of resistance to this proposal from the other community and am being told that we would bring to much liability to the larger community. I am asking if anyone has had a similar experience or thoughts on how to approach this issue on a legal ground. Many homeowners where under the immpresion or miss lead to believing that they would have access to these ammenities when they purchased. My wife and I did do our research and knew we would not have access to these amenities before we bought. We do share the same schools within the communities as well as pay special assesment taxes for the roads and utilities. How costly would this process be and what legal process would need to be done to merge the two? Would we need to disolve our HOA first? What Liabilities are the other HOA refering too?

Since the two communities are likely authorized by separate CC&Rs, any merging will probably require a new common CC&R. Any new CC&R requires unanimous approval of existing owners of each community to dissolve their respective CC&Rs and unanimous approval both communities to create the new combined community.