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Subject: Persisant Past Issues. Why cant' some let it go?

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IreneC

Posts:0

05/26/2008 4:40 PM
My patience on my own HOA is wearing very very very thin. Yes, I have posted lots about some inner issues. We as a group decided in the best interest of our complex we can not bring up personal stuff with other boards members. It is a hinderance, and only makes things harder to work out. It took less than a week after our agreement that our wild card was emailing insults, and another was emailing about how the clique's are forming again... for the love of god. How can this be put aside? We have 7 board members.. one has an anger issue with two ladies. He is a man who has pretty much made it his mission to make them look bad and despite all attempts to work together he keeps doing, saying emailing, ect. He has the support of others on the board, and then there are inner squabbles from months and months ago. Following strict agenda has never been able to be completed by this current group. Personal attacks have happened in executive session. I myself have told the man with the emails that he should really consider if the board is a place for him.. next thing you know he is personally attacking me or anyone else. Can we has a group vote in a code of conduct and if not followed actions like taking away voting rights be done?

GlenL
(Ohio)

Posts:1375

05/26/2008 5:14 PM
IMO no only the H/O's that put the person on the BOD can remove them or take away their vote unless your documents or D-S provide differently. Unfortunately these types of disputes occur everywhere mainly because this is how people feel empowered. The guy might be "henpecked" at work or at home and this is the way he feels that he gets some power back. While the BOD president should control it, I know from past posts she's considered weak so just ignore it the best you can and soldier on. As my momma used to say: "You can roll around in the mud with the pigs but sooner or later you have to realize the pigs love it."

EllenS1
(Florida)

Posts:353

05/26/2008 5:17 PM
Surely your docs contain some language about removal of a board member.

IreneC

Posts:0

05/26/2008 5:47 PM
Yes.. 51% of homeowners can vote him off the board. but this will not happen as he was just voted on the board. He is passive aggressive and has a great poker face. He conducts the bulk of his zingers via email. in person not in front of an audience.

SusanW1
(Michigan)

Posts:2178

05/26/2008 6:07 PM
Very simple: 1) stop ALL anad ANY emailing of Board business - which has evolved into personal attacks. 2) have a consultant come in and work with your board on cooperative governance procedures for boards. Seems like you guys are really off track on how boards are supposed to function. 3) agree to check your egos at the door when coming into a meeting.

GlenL
(Ohio)

Posts:1375

05/26/2008 11:28 PM
Irene is he the one who can't let go or are you? Yes he may be a boorish, misogynistic bully but as long as you or anyone rises to his baiting remarks, he will keep doing it. I know it's no fun to have someone make fun at your expense or impugn your intelligence but sometimes you have to be the bigger person and ignore it. As my good friend and neighbor Forest Gump says: "Stupid is as stupid does." As far as the emails go if you or your other BOD members continue to receive them file a complaint with his email provider; chances are he's violating their terms and conditions. If they are in anyway threatening, you can also file a complaint with the police. Post a couple of the worst ones with the names and headers removed so we can see exactly what you're dealing with and we may be able to help further.

IreneC

Posts:0

05/27/2008 6:57 AM
This is just an excerpt of one sent over two months ago. It was forwarded to all including the MC. What's needed is for those who lack the integrity and character needed to be trusted servants of our Association to step down from the board. Still haven't figured out which two board members I'm referring to yet? Any ideas? xxxxx? XXXXX? XXXXX? This one was in February when I asked him not to send inappropriate emails. ( MC and all was sent this by him. ) First it's not a 'he said, she said' thing. All is well documented. I do not share laundry unless it is brought to my door in public (XXXXX attacks are emailed to all). It is all counter productive as you say, but someone has to confront it (which I am doing) or instigators will continue their ways. The way out is not to let bygones be bygones, lest it continues. It must be confronted and addressed. Apologies must be forthright from XXXX for her past accusations/attacks and they must be made too all with considerations for future inexcusable behavior. Then bygones can be bygones and a new spirit of co-operation can begin. This one was in April. ( once again to all ) I would not pay any mind to XXX and she is just an angry XXXXX you know the kind. Always stirring trouble and attempting to be a hinderance for all decisions. Her opinion should not even be thought of as valid. The last one was sent last week.. to everyone. It was in regards to a response by a board member who has rheumatoid arthritis and her typing isn't always it's best. It would be the example of his one line mean zingers that nobody...... seems to be able to stop. What ????????????? Can someone please decipher XXXXXXX message for me? It makes absolutely no sense at all. The above emails especially the first two are in regards to one board member stating that board was at risk for fiduciary mismanagement. They attmepted to approve our 2008 budget via email and when she asked for a meeting to review to together there was outright anger..... it was a good thing they did.. because between line items our managment's fees showed higher then 2007. Thy increased their fees without disclosure and were kind enough to tuck it in our proposed budget to be approved via email.

EllenS1
(Florida)

Posts:353

05/27/2008 7:05 AM
I suggest everyone ignore his emails and not respond to them. Anything he wants to say can be done in public at the meetings.

IreneC

Posts:0

05/27/2008 7:10 AM
It is difficult to ignore. but successfully we as a whole have done such this last month. I agree.. keep his interactions public. His sarcasm is lacking when you speak to him in person. He is a cyber bully who is nothing wihtout his pc. LOL

EllenS1
(Florida)

Posts:353

05/27/2008 7:18 AM
We had one here too. It was concerning a violation and the owner who received it kept hounding the board. I got fed up and told him our chat is over. He sent me one more email and I didn't respond. Next thing he's at my front door...I didn't answer his knock knowing he had gone to other board members at their home. Ignoring him worked.

EileenE1

Posts:0

06/22/2008 3:34 PM
Good luck, we have the same problem with one of our Board members, she is impossible and will not let things go, if you come up with a solution please let me know.

EllenS1
(Florida)

Posts:353

06/22/2008 4:38 PM
Check your docs again. Is there no way the entire board can get rid of him? Ours do. As to the emails I would respond "any further emails" will be deleted without being read. I had one owner who had an issue with his car which was kept in our locked area for rvs, etc for 6 years. Our board advised him it had to have a current license (which, of course, meant he would have to have insurance for it). It had not been driven in all that time and why he kept it I don't know. Well what ensued was him emailing the board repeatedly and even pounding on their doors. After a couple of emails I told him our chit chat was over and all further emails would be deleted without being read which prompted him to come to my door. I didn't answer but just ignored him. Guess what, his car was towed and we never heard from him again. It wasn't about the car. It appears it was all about him getting some attention.

GlenL
(Ohio)

Posts:1375

06/22/2008 5:41 PM
Ellen we had a board member that loved to respond to every e-mail (READ BY ***) and he would send it to everyone the e-mail was addressed to. After repeated requests for him to stop I finally wrote a rule in my e-mail program to respond to those words by sending him an e-mail back that said READ BY GLEN THAT **** READ THIS. What I didn't realize was that it went back through all the e-mails I had ever received from him and sent him hundreds of responses which crashed his e-mail. Even that didn't stop him so I finally announced at a Board meeting that because of his abuses I had permanently blocked his e-mails and would no longer accept them.

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